Should You Homeschool?
It was around this time last year that we really started trying to nail down our decision for the following school year. From everything I see floating around socials, it’s also a time when a lot of others consider their schooling options as well. If you’re finding yourself in that position now, this post is for you. It’s just a brief breakdown of the things we went through when trying to decide whether to homeschool or not.
I will start with saying that every child is different, and every child will thrive in different settings and scenarios. Our oldest is not homeschooled and will graduate from public school this year. He thrives, and that is, and was, the best place for him. Our decision to homeschool our youngest two started because of our middle child. Will we homeschool forever? I don’t have that answer. We are taking it day by day and making decisions when they need to be made. For now, we are homeschooling.
A Little Background…
Owen attended a small private school in our area for preschool and kindergarten. Throughout our oldest son’s academic career, we had noticed changes and shifts in the public school system in our area, and had heard a few things from parents, so we decided we would start out at the smaller, Christian school, and see how things went. Owen’s first year was amazing! Our sweet, curious but wild, child learned so much, and he loved going every day! We were confident with him continuing there, and looked forward to the day our youngest could go as well!
Unfortunately, Owen’s second year at the school was not the same.
At school drop-off, my husband would have to physically remove Owen from the car. He would cry and beg not to go, grabbing onto the seatbelts, headrests, and anything else he could grasp his tiny hands onto. After school he would fight homework so hard, that it turned into an hours-long affair each night. We noticed that our sweet, curious but wild, child was no longer the same. He was angry, easily frustrated, and no longer wanted to go to a place he had looked forward to going to just months before. He seemed to be doing okay as far as grades, but shortly after Christmas break, we were asked to meet by his teacher. I won’t get into details, but that meeting ended up being the catalyst that led us to choose homeschooling. The day of the meeting, we almost pulled Owen from the school that same day.
We knew that if we were choosing to send Owen to a school that we thought matched our values but, in the end, did not uphold them, and would instead be a place that had already decided who our 6-year-old boy was, and would be, that we were not giving him the education and chance he deserved.
Where You Probably Are Now…
If you’re bothering to read this, this section is probably where you are right now in your “Should I homeschool?” journey. You either don’t think you want to send your child back to the school they’re currently at, or you KNOW you don’t.
So, what now? Is homeschool really an option? Can we afford to homeschool? How will they make friends? How will they get socialization if they’re not in “normal” school? Will I totally fail my child if I homeschool? Am I smart enough to homeschool? How do I know if I am making the right decision? What will everyone else say? Homeschoolers are weird right? They’ll never be “normal” or get into college if we homeschool…they’ll be outcasts before they even get a chance!
I cannot tell you how many times I ran through questions in my head once we really started to consider homeschooling. I have countless hours into researching homeschooling, statistics about homeschooled children, curriculum options, and talking to both homeschool parents and children who were homeschooled. I read random Reddit threads from former homeschooled children, who are now adults, that either say they owe all of their success to the fact that their parents homeschooled them or they blame their parents for failing them by homeschooling them. I read articles from “experts” who warn of the dangers of homeschooling your children, and I read articles from “experts” who share statistics of homeschooled children consistently outscoring public school children in both academic and interpersonal areas, claiming their life-satisfaction is substantially greater.
None of my “research” helped.
I still went back and forth from feeling 100% confident that we were going to homeschool, and it was going to be the best decision we ever made, to questioning how much I was going to screw up my kids, and whether or not I was even capable of schooling my own children. This went on for months. I never made the final decision, until I realized:
I was looking for someone to give me PERMISSION to homeschool.
I wanted someone to tell me I was allowed to homeschool, and that I wouldn’t fail. I wanted someone to make the decision for me so I could believe in my capabilities, and maybe so if it all ended up being a complete disaster I had someone else to blame. Unfortunately, if you’re a parent, you know that’s never an option.
One fear you often hear from those considering homeschooling, is that they would now be 100% responsible for their child’s education, and it would be their fault if their child was not successful if they decided to homeschool. The fact is, whether your child is homeschooled, in public school, or in a private school, you are still 100% responsible for their education. Teachers and the public school systems are often blamed for the short comings of our children’s educational abilities, but as parents it is still our responsibility to ensure our children have the resources they need, to notice when they need extra help or time, to be their advocates, and to work with them so they get the most from their educational experience. So, the decision then becomes whether or not you want to be responsible for their education from a distance while they’re away at school all day or if you would rather be responsible for their education one-on-one at home, where you have control over more.
One Year Later
So, now we are a year out from the meeting that changed the way our daily lives look. We have been officially homeschooling for six months now, and I am glad we picked this for our lives. Once I realized that the fear I had regarding the decision to homeschool was always going to be there, if it wasn’t about homeschooling, it would be about something else…it’s part of being a parent…we fully committed to homeschooling as a family.
I left my job as a nurse and now spend my days teaching. We learn at the local coffee shop across the street from Owen’s dojo while he’s in karate class. We learn at the gymnasium (or in the car when it’s too distracting inside) while Isla Rose takes her tumbling class. We learn at the kitchen table after breakfast, or outside on the front porch when it’s a beautiful day outside. We found a local co-op that the kids really enjoy, and they get to hang out (and socialize…which is a topic for another day) and learn alongside others. We go on field trips and look into things that interest us. It’s so exciting and rewarding to see the improvement and new skills each day.
Not every day is great. Honestly, there are days it’s just hard and honestly sucks. Anyone who tells you otherwise is absolutely lying and setting you up to think there is something wrong with you as a parent or with your homeschooling methods. There will be days you want to ship them off to the first school that will take them, and you question why you ever thought this was a good idea…but then, there are the days that you see what a blessing it truly is to watch a child, YOUR child, learning and loving to learn. You are there when they finally read a passage without hesitation or issue when they couldn’t have done that two weeks ago. You’re there when they are so proud and excited because they understand the math that has been confusing them since you opened that curriculum three months earlier.
You will learn alongside your child if you decide to homeschool. You will grow as a person and as a parent. You’ll have lots of wins, and you’ll make lots of mistakes. Your decision to homeschool does not have to be a permanent decision. You can homeschool for a semester and decide it’s not what’s best for your child or family. You can change your curriculum after two days or two months. You will make adjustments as you go. I researched curriculum and still decided to change something after just a week of homeschooling. I know as the years go on, if we continue to homeschool, I will make more changes and adjustments…and that’s okay! You’re allowed to change your mind…this one decision will not permanently change your child’s life for the worse, because you can always adjust your plans.
If you’re looking for permission to homeschool…this is your permission!
